Fly On the Wall
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you could be a fly on the wall watching your daily events? The highs and lows you go through emotionally, the good and the bad times, your behaviors? What if I told you that you already have someone watching your every move who is modeling and mirroring
your words and actions? The answer is YOUR CHILDREN.
It’s true when they say that our children are like sponges, they are constantly picking up and mimicking our healthy and unhealthy habits, patterns, and emotions. Do you remember a time when you received upsetting news, but may not have reacted in a healthy way? Then over the course of the next few days, you may have noticed yourself reprimanding your child for exhibiting the same unhealthy behaviors that you did. Were you able to
realize your child was mimicking your unhealthy behaviors?
Take a step back and ask yourself, “Did I do that behavior first?” This will help you become aware of how directly your actions, reactions, and words affect those around you, especially in our home environment. Now, we’re not saying you can’t be angry, upset, hurt, or disappointed, you just need to learn to slow down and not react to them. We all must learn to pause in the moment, so that we can feel what is really behind your reaction. It is easy to want to skip what is going on inside and then take your frustrations out on others. Just be mindful of your surroundings when you are allowing yourself to express those emotions. Make sure you feel into the feelings, look internally and try to understand the reasons why you are being triggered emotionally. If you are learning to be in tune with yourself throughout the day, you will feel more peaceful and it will be easier to not react negatively. This will make you a great role model for your kids. If you are interested in how you can gain this skill of looking within yourself to better understand your emotions, there will be upcoming blogs teaching how to meditate and we offer individual counseling to help speed up this process.
Remember, your children see and hear and absorb everything you do and say. Any feeling or pattern that you have not looked at in yourself, you will see your child act out. Even if you think it is an inside process that is hidden from them, they will feel it and take it on. They are in fact that fly on the wall watching our every move and learning from us through it all. Gone are the days of “
Do what I say, not what I do.”
If you are having difficulty with modeling positive and effective emotional expressions or want to learn more about family therapy, individual therapy for children or adults, or couples counseling please visit our website at
A little bit about the author:
Christina is a therapist who believes in the true functionality as well as complete dysfunction that lies within the family system. Christina believes that if a single individual within a family is having trouble managing emotions or communicating effectively, then the family unit must be explored to better understand the origin of the behaviors. Our patterns are learned, but we can learn to break the unhealthy and dysfunctional ones. Christina helps families and individuals find that healthy balance within the family dynamic. Christina prides herself on helping others and being a sounding board to others in their time of need. She encourages active and effective expression and communication in all relationships and stresses it within her own. Christina weaves the traditional talk therapy techniques with the holistic methods of meditation and mindfulness, along with a touch of self-expression in the art studio- with sand tray or expressive therapy. Her mantra is: “I am illuminating. This spark within you is radiating happiness from the inside out. You are glowing with positivity. Your energy is helping others spark their inner light, too. Thank you for letting your beautiful light change the world.”